Learning to love
by NinjaWizardFred
Summary: There are two types of love. The kind one feels for family, and the kind one feels for that one person. Luckily, Mello has exactly two people to teach him those two different kinds of love. MattxMello, MatsudaxOC in later chapters.
1. building blocks

I have not finished the whole Death Note series. I'm watching it on Adult Swim and I missed a whole bunch of episodes in the middle of the series too. But I have been watching it from the Near and Mello arc. So I apologize in advance for any discrepencies.

* * *

Two children sat together on the floor of Wammy's House during play time, a large stack of leggos between them. The girl was simply stacking them together to make a wall, placing clear boxes here and there for windows. The boy was building something more abstract, but certainly more complex. They had been sitting there, connecting the plastic blocks together for several minutes before the girl looked up.

"Where did you get these Mihael?" She asked.

"Don't call me that." He answered grumpily. "I'm Mello."

"Did you steal these from Near?" The girl asked, ignoring him.

"Yes, I stole them from him." Mello spat, glaring at her. "Why do you care?"

The girl didn't respond for a moment as she attached her wall to a base. "Near's going to be mad, you know."

"That's the POINT!" Mello exclaimed, drawing the attention of a white haired boy from across the room. He didn't move however, and just stared at them. Mello noticed.

"You should give them back to him." The girl said, starting on another wall.

"You're using more, you should give them back to him." Mello retorted in a mocking tone, glaring at her.

"You're the one who stole them." She replied, shrugging. Mello sent her an aggravated look and went back to playing with his leggos. Why he always let this girl hang around him, he didn't know. She was annoying, bossy, lazy, annoying, a liar, stupid, annoying, a tattler, self-absorbed, and annoying.

"Arrow, why don't you go play with the other girls?" Mello finally asked, putting what was now obviously a leggo car on the ground with enough force to smash it into several pieces.

"My name is Amanda." The girl replied, "Why do you call me Arrow?"

"Because me and Near've got nicknames." Mello said. "And since you refuse to leave us alone, we call you Arrow."

"But you've got REASONS why you've got nicknames. Like L. But not me. And why Arrow anyway? I hate archery." Arrow said, starting on the last wall.

"Because." Was all Mello answered. Suddenly, he felt a tapping at his shoulder. He turned around to see what it was and he saw that he was nearly nose-to-nose with Near.

"You stole my leggos." Was all he said. Mello stood up and stuck his tongue out at the younger boy.

"Then don't leave them lying around!" He exclaimed, running off. Near sat down next to Arrow heavily and picked up the broken car Mello had built, disassembling what was left and rebuilding it.

"Amanda." He said softly.

"Yes Nate?" Arrow answered, looking up at him.

"Why do you like Mello?" He asked. Arrow shrugged.

"I dunno. I thought he looked nice when I first met him, but I guess he's not." She answered simply.

"If he's not nice, why do you keep playing with him then?" Near questioned. Arrow stood up, abandoning the roof that she was making, getting impatient with it.

"I dunno. He's kinda like my little brother, I guess. I always wanted a little sibling." She said with a shrug before turning and leaving. Near watched her go for a moment, then turned back down to his leggos.

Meanwhile, Mello had marched off down the hallway, on his way to wherever he could be alone. On the way, however, he brushed shoulders with another boy going in the opposite direction.

"Mello?" The boy said, looking up from the game he was playing. Mello turned around to glare at him before he realized who it was.

"Oh. Matt." He said stubbornly, stopping his rampaging but not losing his annoyed expression.

"What's wrong this time?" Matt asked, looking at him as he pressed the pause button on his gameboy. Mello crossed his arms and tried to look impatient.

"Arrow STILL won't leave me alone." He sighed, tapping his foot. Matt grinned at his reaction and Mello noticed. "It's not funny!" He said, scowling. Matt shook his head.

"She's just a girl. Ignore her." Matt said with a shrug.

"But she's older than me." Mello said, crossing his arms. "It's not like I can just tell her to go away."

"Yeah… she is old, huh?" Matt laughed. "At least you know she'll get wrinkles before you." Mello chuckled at the thought.

"She's already ugly to begin with." He chortled. "Wrinkles might make her look better."

"Yeah. And maybe she'll try to make herself pretty by brushing her hair more so it doesn't look like mud!" Matt added with a grin.

"Her hair IS mud, didn't you know?" Mello laughed.

"Ew, is that why she smells so bad?" Matt added. Mello nodded eagerly, but then they suddenly heard someone sniffle behind them. The boys looked around and saw the girl they had just been laughing at. Mello grinned.

"You have snot on your face." He said with a sneer. She glared at him as best she could, but her tears took away from the effect drastically.

"Shut up!" She howled, but Mello only laughed.

"Arrow is an ugly cow! Ugly Arrow! Ugly Arrow!" He laughed. He looked back at Matt and grinned. "Come on Matt, join in! Ugly Arrow!"

"Shut UP!" Arrow screeched. Matt just stood there, having turned his game back on and choosing not to tease her to her face. Mello, however, did not shut up and kept taunting her until she ran off, screaming. Mello watched her go, laughing viciously, taking a lot of satisfaction in the sight of her crying.

"Matt, wasn't that awesome? She's such a crybaby!" Mello laughed. Matt said nothing as he continued playing. Mello narrowed his eyes at the red head.

"Okay fine. Just play your stupid game, not like I care." He said before walking off in a huff.

Meanwhile, Arrow was still bawling as she sat curled in a ball in an empty corner of the play room. She was ignored and laughed at by her fellow orphans. Some even taunted her further, calling her a cry baby and mud-head. She tried her best to ignore them and stuck her tongue out at every one of them. But she never looked at any of their faces. In fact, it wasn't until a slow, gentle voice spoke up that she even looked away from the ground.

"Are you all right?" The voice asked. Arrow turned around, recognizing it. A boy was standing there, his hair was messy, like hers, only his was short and black. His shoulders hunched as he looked down at her, not that they wouldn't have been hunched otherwise.

"L!" She exclaimed, standing up and hugging him around the waist. L stared down at her oddly, as if she were some strange alien than a little girl and he awkwardly patted her head.

"I heard shouting." He said flatly. "Then I heard you crying."

"Did I interrupt you?" She asked, looking up at him apologetically.

"No, no…" L said, looking up. "I was just wondering what all the commotion was."

"Mihael called me ugly!" She exclaimed, barely letting him finish. L knelt down next to her, holding a finger to his lips to hush her.

"Not so loud…" He whispered, looking around to make sure no one heard Mello's real name. Fortunately, none of the other children liked Arrow enough to pay attention and so hadn't heard. "Look… You want to go out for ice cream Amanda?" He asked with a friendly smile. She sniffed and looked up at him.

"W-with me? Why?" She asked, wiping her eyes. L smiled a little.

"Because you're sad." He said, just to placate her. She smiled and hugged him again.

"Thank you L!" She squealed. L looked down at her, his expression voicing his wish to not be hugged by the ten-year-old.

They went to an ice cream parlor a few blocks away from Whammy's House and already received their frozen treats. Arrow was nibbling the waffle cone that held her chocolate ice cream while L was picking a cherry off of the top of the sundae he'd ordered.

"Amanda, do you cry like that often?" He asked as he separated the fruit from its stem. She nodded.

"Yeah, they always make fun of me. Mello said that they just do that to try to make me cry." She answered, licking at the ice cream again.

"Mello said that?" L asked, curious. "But wasn't he the one that teased you today?"

"Yeah, but I dunno. Sometimes he teases me and sometimes he's nice. He's like… and off-and-on friend, you know?" She said.

"Or a sibling." L piped up, looking unaware that he had even said anything. "So the other children make you cry often. Very often."

"Yeah, and I hate them!" Arrow agreed. Taking a bite of her ice cream, resulting in chocolate all over her face.

"But you don't hate Mello." L pointed out.

"Well no…" Arrow admitted, looking down and licking some of the chocolate off of her lips. "Because Mello's nice. Sometimes."

"I see." L said simply, finishing off his sundae. He stared at the wall just above Arrow's head, spoon in mouth. It was obvious he was thinking of something, but Arrow had no idea what it was.

The teenager stood up and held his hand out for the little girl's. She stood up and took it, still licking at her ice cream cone.

"Thank you L." She said, smiling at him. He looked down and smiled back.

The rest of the walk back to Wammy's House, L said almost nothing. He let Arrow talk the whole way back to the orphanage. She talked about the ice cream, how nice L was for taking her, and how chocolate ice cream had always been her favorite over vanilla. But mostly, she talked about Mello. How she liked playing with him when he wasn't being mean and how she loved the color of his hair. She also talked about how much she hated him because he was so mean and would never share with her except on rare occasions. But that was how siblings were supposed to be, she supposed.

L thought about that last comment the rest of the way back to orphanage. Siblings. He knew that Mello had to have been born an only child for a reason. Any siblings of his would have something to fear every night when they went to bed. He also figured that Mello was more than likely unaware that Arrow considered herself to be this close to him. Mello would never agree to something like that, ever.

They parted ways when they got to the orphanage. L went off one way and Arrow went back the play room where some kids were gathered in a circle around Matt, who was taking three steps at a time.

"Whose is it?" He asked.

"It's mine." Mello said. Matt nodded at him and took three more steps in another triangle.

"Whose is it?" He asked again. No one said anything for a moment and neither did Matt.

"It's mine." Mello finally said. Matt nodded again and took another three steps.

"It's mine!" Several children said at once, but Mello's voice rang out first.

"It's Mello's." Matt said.

"This game isn't fair Matt!" cried out Arrow's voice as she approached him. "You always let Mello win."

"He doesn't LET me win." Mello said. "I win because I know what to do. I'm surprised you don't get it already, you've played enough times. Jeez, you're about the only one left in this place who doesn't get it."

"These guys don't!" Arrow said, indicating the others in the circle who were nodding their heads.

"There were way more, but they left when they got it." Matt said quietly, now searching the ground for where he left his gameboy. Arrow narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Jeez Arrow, you're so dumb." Mello sneered before running off to help Matt.

Arrow stood there a moment as the other children dissipated, some departing with an "Oh, now I get it!" as they walked off to play their games.

"I HATE YOU MELLO!" Arrow screamed before running off to her room and slamming the door as loud as she could.

A couple of hours later, L and Watari were meeting in another room, discussing a certain girl in the orphanage.

"You want to take Amanda out of the running to be your successor?" Watari asked, looking at L oddly.

"Yes." L answered simply. "She wasn't one of the front runners anyway, but I think it's best not to consider her anymore and treat her as just a normal child."

"May I ask why you've suddenly come to this decision?" Watari asked, folding his hands on the desk in front of him.

"She's biased, to begin with." L replied, "I spent some time with her today for this purpose. She's emotional, like Mello, but it's obvious her intelligence isn't at his level. Still, she does exceptionally well in her schoolwork and so I thought she was worth looking into."

Watari nodded, saying nothing and waiting for him to get to the point.

"Today she told me about how the other kids tease her and make her cry. She informed me that Mello seems to be her biggest offender, yet in the same breath told me that she considers him to be like a brother." L said. Watari blinked in surprise.

"Mello? He would never agree to something like that." he said. L nodded.

"That's what I thought too. But she holds him in very high regard. So, drawing a conclusion from this, if she were working against someone that she had any affection for at all, it's highly probable that she'd be swayed by her emotions and hold back." He said. Watari closed his eyes and thought about it for a moment.

"Yes," He said after a pause, "that makes sense. Good catch. She didn't have an alias anyway."

"Actually, she told me that Mello calls her Arrow." L said, looking toward the door. "Which could have been shortened to 'A' if needed." Watari nodded in agreement.

"It doesn't matter now, however." He said, looking at L. "Once again, good catch. From now on, she'll be treated as just a regular child."

And thus, Arrow's "regular" life began.

* * *

Notice to readers. This is chapter one. The next one will not be posted until I finish my fic "Love, Heaven" (which only has one chapter left).


	2. Mother

"Straight legs Amanda! And jump with your hips, it gives you more distance!" An older woman barked to the girl. A contretemps later and she was off in the other direction. Tombé, pas de bourrée, glissade, grandee jeté. The landing was a bit shaky and she had to hop out of it to make room for the next girl right on her heels.

"Better!" the teacher called out to Arrow before turning to advise the next girl about pointing her toes all the way.

Arrow leaned against the barre, panting and tired. She had started dancing only a year ago, but she was already one of the best dancers in her beginners class. Though she was far from being in the advanced class, her teacher had talked to her about moving her up soon.

It hadn't taken Arrow very long to learn that ballet was her passion. It also hadn't taken Mello very long to realize the same thing and he was quick to tease her for it. Every time she came back to the orphanage, wearing those tights and that leotard, he was the first to mock her.

Eventually, however, he became the only one to mock her as more and more of the children got bored of it. Mello was the only one who persisted, calling her fat and telling her that ballerinas were supposed to be skinny and how they weren't supposed to have boobs. When Arrow pointed out that she was fourteen and any normal girl her age has boobs as well, Mello insisted that ballerinas didn't have them and therefore she was fat, at least too fat to be a ballerina.

Arrow had gotten used to Mello's taunts years ago, however, and only rolled her eyes, muttering about how pathetic he was for continuing to try and make her feel bad about herself.

Today, however, when Arrow returned to the orphanage, Mello was not waiting to make fun of her. He was no where to be found, actually. The other children were playing and Arrow looked around for any sign of Mello, or Matt for that matter.

What she did see, however, was a newspaper on a nearby table, which she picked up and flipped through boredly. She had been looking for the crossword puzzle (if it hadn't been done already by someone else), when she saw something that made her heart stop.

* * *

"Arrow's probably almost home." Matt said, looking up at Mello from his gameboy. Mello shrugged. "Aren't you going to go make fun of her?"

"It doesn't bug her like it used to." He said flatly.

"Something's bugging you." Matt said, turning off his gameboy all together. They had been hanging out in Mello's room all day, doing pretty much nothing together as they seemed to do quite often recently.

"No it's not." Mello denied, staring out a window. Matt shook his head and stared at him. He knew something was wrong, but if he asked, he knew Mello wouldn't talk, not even to him. So instead he just sat there, watching his friend for several minutes, waiting for him to talk.

"Matt, have you ever kissed a girl?" Mello finally said, not looking at him. His voice was calm and level and his face showed not even so much as a blush. Matt blinked a few times, taken aback by the sudden question.

"No. Why?" He asked.

"Nothing." Mello said, falling silent again. Matt knew that wasn't all and continued watching him, not saying anything until Mello spoke again.

"Have you ever wondered what it was like?" He asked. Matt sighed.

"You want to kiss a girl." He said, looking at the wall to the left of Mello's head. Mello curled his lip up and shook his head.

"Ugh, no!" He said, sounding thoroughly disgusted by the idea. "Girls are nasty."

"You're eleven, shouldn't you be over that by now?" Matt said, shrugging and looking down at his gameboy again, debating turning it on.

"No, girls are nasty. They're so weird about shallow stuff like clothes and shoes and crap. They smell funny all the time and always call themselves fat even when they're not and they wear makeup and _still_ insist that they're ugly! I mean, if they think that they're so ugly wearing make up, why do they wear it?! It pisses me off!" By now, Mello had stood up and was pacing, making many gestures with his hands. Matt couldn't help but laugh at him. "And what is so funny?"

"You." Matt said, laughing out loud.

"What about me?!" Mello demanded, crossing his arms.

"You're just funny…" Matt said, his laughing subsiding as he caught his breath. "Acting like this…" Mello crossed his arms and looked back out the window.

"All I'm saying is that girls always have been and always will be idiotic. Boys are so much better." He said calmly, trying to contain himself. Matt smiled a little and, in the back of his mind, felt a small sense of relief.

Suddenly, a knock came at the door, very soft. If the two hadn't just stopped talking, they wouldn't have heard it.

"Who is it?" Mello spat, glaring at the door.

"Me…" Came Arrow's timid voice. Mello rolled his eyes.

"What?" He asked, turning to face the door now. Arrow let herself in, but stared at the floor. She shivered a little, the newspaper clutched in her hand. The boys looked at it curiously, wondering what could have her so shaken up.

"What's that?" Matt asked, eyeing the paper. She twitched a little and sat down on the bed next to Matt, unfolding the paper. Mello made his way over as well and looked over Arrow's shoulder at the article she had opened to.

The headline said something about an arrest for a major drug bust and next to the article was the mug shot of a woman, dingy and dirty, but even so, bearing a striking resemblance to Arrow. The article told the details of the drug bust, including the woman's full name: Christina Rose.

"So what?" Mello said, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"So look at her! She looks kinda like me and she's got the same last name as me." Arrow said, pointing at the picture of the woman.

"That doesn't prove anything." Mello retorted, rolling his eyes.

"I know, I know, that's why I asked Watari." Arrow said.

"And?" Matt asked expectantly. Arrow shivered a little.

"He said that this woman gave me to this orphanage fourteen years ago, claiming she couldn't take care of a baby. Apparently, she thought this place was just a regular orphanage." She said with a sigh. "She's my mom."

"Good thing she did bring you here then." Matt said simply, turning on his gameboy, not caring how rude it might seem.

"I guess…" Arrow said, giving a side glare at Matt. "If you want to think of it so bluntly."

"You would've been caught in the middle of that." Mello pointed out -- quite literally, as he placed his index finger on the article -- with a shrug. "Would that have really made you happy?"

"Well… no…" Arrow admitted, looking down.

"Then why are you so down about it?" He asked.

"Because my mother is a terrible person!" Arrow snapped, glaring at him. "I could have pretended she was dead or just devastatingly poor or something, but no! She's a criminal!"

"Stop whining. You're lucky. Some kids are actually raised by people like her. You weren't." Mello told her, giving her a dark look. She shivered. He had a point.

"Besides, at least you know who your mom is now. That's more than most of the kids here can say." Matt said quietly, tilting his gameboy as if that might help the Tetris block he was currently controlling go to that side faster.

Finally Arrow stood up. She looked at the two and sighed.

"I'm sorry. I thought I'd just tell my closest friends how I felt about my mother being a drug dealer. Didn't know they'd give me a lecture." And with that she turned around and stomped out of the room.

"God, she bugs me!" Mello said, once he was sure she was gone. "I've been putting up with her since I got here, why won't she leave me the hell alone?"

"She just called us her friends." Matt said with a shrug. "I'll bet you she didn't tell anyone else about this."

"She's a loner, everyone knows that." Mello answered. "She hangs out with girls from that ballet school, but she stays around us most of the time."

"She acts like she's your big sister or something too have you ever noticed that?" Matt said with a smirk. Mello scowled and nodded.

"Oh I've noticed. Trust me." He said before making his voice sound high-pitched and exaggerated. "'Mello, did you finish your vegetables at dinner? Mello, clean your room, it's a mess! Mello, don't eat that, you'll rot your teeth! Mello, I'm gonna call you Mihael because I think we're related for some reason so I _can_!' GOD, she bothers me!"

"You're reacting so harshly to nothing." Matt said with a smirk. "Maybe you do want to kiss her."

"I'd sooner kiss you." Mello said, shivering slightly.

Short chapter guys… hope you enjoyed it anyway! (also, reviews are nice…)


	3. leaving

"Roger?"

"I'm afraid L is dead."

Mello and Near stared at the old man on the other side of the desk in horror. Well, Mello stared, Near hardly glanced up from his puzzle. Mello rushed up to the desk and leaned over it until he was nearly nose-to-nose with Roger.

"Was it Kira? Did Kira kill him?! Tell me!" He demanded.

"Probably" Was all Roger said in response, not even looking the fourteen-year-old boy in the face.

"H-he promised me he'd find Kira and execute him… Now you're telling me he's been killed?!" Mello cried, grabbing Roger by the shoulders.

"M-Mello!" Roger protested as a loud clattering sounded behind the boy. Mello turned to see that Near had dumped his puzzle on the floor, having just completed it.

"If you can't solve the puzzle," He said in quiet voice, starting to fit the pieces back together in the frame, "then you're just a loser." Mello stared at him for a moment before turning back to Roger.

"So which one of us did L pick? Me or Near?" He asked in a noticeably calmer voice, though still placing his hand on Roger's desk aggressively.

"He hadn't chosen yet." Roger answered with a sigh. Mello removed his hand and stood back slightly, staring at him in shock.

"And now that he's gone, he won't be able to." Roger didn't look up as he continued "Listen, can't you two work together?"

"All right. Sounds good." Near answered, still working on resolving his puzzle once again. Mello grimaced, his eyes locked on the boy. How could they expect him to work with _Near_? The two were completely incompatible. He turned back to the man sitting behind the desk.

"It'll never work Roger." He said, trying to keep his voice calm, though couldn't hide the fact that it was still shaking slightly. "We can't do this together. You know I don't get along with Near. We've always competed against each other." There was a pause. The room was silent except for the sound of the puzzle pieces clicking together.

"You know what?" Mello said suddenly, causing Roger to look up at him, "It's fine. Near should be the one to succeed L. He doesn't get emotional like me. He uses his head like it's a puzzle. And as for me, I'm leaving this 'institution'." He said, turning around.

"Mello, wait!" Roger called, standing up.

"Don't bother. I'm almost fifteen. I'm going to live my own life." And with that, Mello walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Arrow had been listening on the other side, her ear pressed to the door. When Mello opened it, she nearly got hit, but managed to step away just in time. She followed him as he stalked down the hallway, looking very disgruntled. It wasn't until they got to his room that she said anything at all.

"I heard everything." She said, looking down. "L's dead… he was so young…"

"Kira killed him, it doesn't matter how old he was." Mello said softly, rifling through his drawers for clothes he was going to bring with him.

"Mello, don't leave…" Arrow said quietly as she watched him.

"Why not? You said you heard everything, didn't you? Let's go." He withdrew a duffle bag from under his bed and started piling clothes in it.

"What, you mean I'm coming too?" Arrow asked, blinking in shock.

"Of course. You just turned 18. You can rent us a flat or something. Matt and I aren't old enough to do that. Besides, you already have a job." He said, not even looking at her.

"As a Barista. You're bringing Matt too?" She crossed her arms and shook her head. "Does HE know about this?"

"I'm gonna tell him once I'm done here."

"Mello…" Arrow shook her head. "Where are we gonna get the money for a flat? I don't have nearly enough saved up, then there's food and bills and everything else…"

"We're leaving." He said definitively, "I've been saving up for this for a while. It's not like I decided this on the spot. Today just…" He sighed as his packing slowed, a black shirt not unlike the one he was wearing clutched in his hands. "Today just tore it."

"I understand." Arrow said, looking down. "I'll go pack my things then." She turned and put a hand on the door knob, pausing when she heard Mello speak.

"Thank you." He said. She smiled and left for her own room.

--

Matt sat in his room, his gameboy turned off as he stared at his hands. His nails were hardly even there anymore, just stubs of keratin left clinging to his skin. Even still, he was currently chewing on the nail of his left pinky. He had tried to stop many times, but he'd been biting his fingernails as long as he could remember. It was, as far as he could think of, a nervous habit.

And today, something in the back of his mind made him more nervous than ever. He couldn't even concentrate on his games, all he could do was stare at the ceiling and chew off what little was left of his fingernails.

A knock on the door made him jump. He looked over at it and bit his lip.

"Come in." He said, his voice a little shaky. The door opened and Mello peeked in.

"You decent?" he asked. Matt smiled a little and shook his head.

"Come in." He repeated, sitting up and taking his finger out of his mouth. "What happened?"

Mello's face did not look cruel and calculating as it usually did when he was planning some mischief. It also did not look awkward and unsure as it did increasingly often when he came to visit Matt these days. In fact, Mello's face did not look like it had much of any expression at all, he just stood in the doorway and looked Matt straight in the eyes.

"Get packing." He said in a calm and sure voice. "We're leaving this place."

"W-what? Mello, what do you mean?" Matt asked, cocking his head.

"We're leaving Whammy's House. You, me, and Arrow. So pack your crap." He said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Why?" Matt queried, not moving.

"L's dead." Mello told him, looking down. "Near's replacing him. Roger suggested that he and I work together, but…"

"That would never work." Matt said, with a bit of a laugh before looking back at his hands. Mello noticed.

"Stop biting your nails. It's disgusting." He said, looking at his own hand.

"Sorry." Matt replied, looking down in shame. Finally Mello got off of his place in the door frame and walked over to Matt, grabbing his bag from under his bed before walking over to Matt's drawers and dumping the clothes from there into the suitcase. Matt sat where he was and watched him. There was something in Mello's face that made him realize that this wasn't just Near or even L's death. No, something else was pushing Mello to leave like this. Something that Matt had seen coming for a long time. Something that he felt as well.

Once Mello had shoved all of Matt's possessions into his suitcase, he panted a little and sat on it to close it as best he could.

"I think this will last you. Right?" He asked. Matt shrugged.

"How long will we be gone for?" He responded. "I mean, aren't we gonna have to come back eventually?"

"No." Mello said simply. "We're never coming back. Ever."

"But how are we-?" Matt started, but Mello stopped him by raising his hand.

"Arrow. She's eighteen, she can get us a place to live, a good job… We'll have to get jobs too, mind you, if we're going to make it, but Arrow's legal, she can do most of the stuff that we can't because we're too young."

Matt was silent for a moment. He brought his middle finger to his lips, parting them slightly, before Mello grabbed his hand.

"That's disgusting. I told you not to do that." He said again. "If we're gonna be living together, I don't want to have to look at your nubby little finger nails."

"It's hard to stop, Mello. I've tried, I honestly have, but it's not easy." Matt mumbled, choking back tears and unable to explain why.

"You could always invest in a pair of gloves." Mello told him, holding his hand gently and trailing his thumb lightly over the length of his fingers. It was a subtle motion that put Matt oddly at ease.

"It'll be harder to play video games though." He said quietly.

"Like we'll have money for more games." Mello scoffed. Matt stared at him, slack-jawed, and Mello noticed. "We're all going to have to make sacrifices."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, and Mello never let go of Matt's hand. The silence was far from awkward, however. Both boys knew that there was nothing that needed to be said at this point. They were running away _together,_ something that they had both secretly fantasized about for years under sheet-and-pillow forts with "No Girls Allowed" signs propped up in front. The object of their childhood dreams was finally coming true. Arrow wasn't even a part of it. No, this had always been about the two of them.

"Come on. This bag won't move itself." Mello finally said, and he stood up, pulling Matt with him. The red-head nodded and squeezed his hand gently.

* * *

I've been distracted, sorry guys /

The first little scene is composed of dialogue from the anime series. I didn't come up with any of that. And don't worry, it won't happen again. This chapter just called for it.


	4. Arrangement

It had been two years since they'd bought the flat. Somehow they had convinced their landlord to take a cheap down payment, and all three of them had to get jobs in order to pay the rent every month.

Arrow had quit her job in the coffee shop she used to work at and now had a desk job as a receptionist in a law firm. Matt, of course, held a job at HMV. And Mello drifted from job to job, as he never could put up with any one employer for very long at a time. Together they managed to pull in enough money to pay the rent and buy enough food to get by. All of them lost weight during this time and had nearly forgotten what real meat tasted like.

Arrow's hair had gone from the mud-brown she had been born with to a bleached blonde. She was having a secret affair with one of the married men in the office, and Matt had even found a suspicious pair of boxer shorts on one occasion in the laundry.

Matt had followed Mello's advice and bought gloves. Unfortunately, this left him rather twitchy for a while and he had bought his first pack of cigarettes with a fake ID a few months after buying the gloves. Neither of his roommates enjoyed his habit but had no other choice. Eventually, they managed to come to terms with their eventual black lung and put up with it.

Mello had bought a gun and kept it under his pillow. He carried it around everywhere, but had not fired it yet. He convinced Arrow to let him buy it because of the seedy neighborhood they lived in and so, with a pretty girl and two fresh-faced teenage boys, they were practically begging for a rapist to pay their flat a surprise visit. Arrow soon regretted this decision, however, when Mello was arrested for pointing the gun at someone who had bumped into him on the street. At the time, the gun hadn't been loaded and he managed to convince the police that he never intended to pull the trigger and that, indeed, the safety had never even been disengaged.

All in all, they were doing much better than Arrow had expected.

--

"So I met someone today." Mello said one evening when he returned home from his job at a hardware store. Both Matt and Arrow looked up from their spots on the couch. Matt's cigarette almost dropped out of his mouth.

"Dumping Matt already?" Arrow said, eyebrow raised. Mello glared at her and walked over to sit between the two.

"First off, I'm not gay." Mello said, stretching his arms above his head. Arrow noticed Matt's eyes wander over his friend's chest and she snickered.

"Who'd you meet then?" She asked, still grinning.

"There's this guy who's with the mafia in America. I met him and we had a talk. He said he'd hook us up with a place in Los Angeles and we could get out of this rat hole." Mello answered. His roommates each raised their eyebrows.

"…A mafia guy just randomly offered to fly us out to Los Angeles forever." Matt stated disbelievingly.

"There's an arrangement, of course." Mello told him, placing his hands behind his head and staring at the floor in thought.

"And that would be…?" Arrow inquired.

"I can't tell you that." Mello said, his hand drifting to his pocket, and his fingertips brushing the lump that was his gun. "He respects me though." He muttered, a slight grin on his lips.

"Mello…" Arrow said softly, grabbing his hand. He immediately snatched it back.

"Don't go lecturing me on how the mafia's dangerous. It's no worse than Kira's existence. If someone doesn't like you, all they have to do now is put your name and picture on the internet. Which is only a matter of time for you." He sent Arrow a glare and she looked down, knowing that her lover's wife had been getting suspicious recently, as she wasn't allowing him to visit as often.

"It's still probably not a good idea." Matt spoke up. "What makes you think he respects you? It's more likely he's just planning on using you."

"Please. He was an idiot. He wouldn't be thinking that far ahead. Just by listening to him for five minutes I could tell he's nothing more than a grunt." Mello answered him, rolling his eyes.

There was a momentary silence. No one spoke, and an awkward feeling hung in the air. No one wanted to be the first to speak next, but they all needed something, anything to break the quiet. Finally, it was Mello who spoke.

"I just want to get you guys out of here." He whispered. The other two looked at him, wondering if they'd heard him correctly. He had never said anything like this before to anyone and it came as quite a shock to the other two to hear the words come out of his mouth.

Finally, he looked up. He looked at Arrow's eyes first, then Matt's. He was still facing Matt when he spoke.

"Do you want a better life or not?"

"…All right." Arrow murmured after a moment's hesitation. Mello looked back at her and nearly smiled.

"You only want to do this because Near's in America, huh?" Matt spoke up. The other two looked at him and Mello let his smile show.

"That's a major factor in my decision, yes. I'm going to catch Kira before he does, and I certainly can't do that in these conditions." He said with certainty.

"So does this mean that we should start packing?" Arrow questioned. Mello shrugged and stood up.

"Do what you want." He said as he sauntered off to his room. "I'm not forcing you to go anywhere."

Matt and Arrow sat together silently for a few moments, digesting Mello's news. It was hard to believe that he would just suddenly decide something like that. Especially when he had received the offer from such a shady character. But he did have a point about getting them out of here. Finally, Arrow sighed.

"What do you think?" She asked Matt, looking at him sadly.

"I think he has the best of intentions." He said simply.

"It's Mello. You really think he ever has good intentions for anyone other than himself?" Arrow snorted. Matt rolled his eyes.

"He's done a lot for us, Arrow. And you know it." he told her, scratching at his wrist. This gave Arrow an excuse to look anywhere other than his eyes.

"I still don't think he's doing this for us." She said in a soft voice. Matt stood up at that and turned for Mello's room.

"Fine. You can stay here. I'm going with him." He said defiantly as he marched off.

Arrow watched him disappear into Mello's room and sighed, pulling herself off of the couch and into her room to pack her things.

"You're serious about this." Matt said as he walked into his friend's room. Mello turned and half-smiled at him.

"Yeah. And I really meant what I said back there." He said. Matt nodded. "Also, if you ever repeat what I said to anyone, I'll make you wish that you'd never met me."

"Yeah, all right. Deal." Matt said with a laugh. Mello turned to face him and smiled for the second time that day.

"Matt." He said, walking over to him and taking his hand, "We're getting in deep now… if we go, there's no turning back." He sighed softly. "This is real. We'll likely die. We're no different than L."

"I know." Matt admitted, wrapping his arms around Mello's waist. He was only thankful that he had his gloves on so that his sweaty palms would go unnoticed.

Mello sighed softly, relaxing under Matt's embrace. His anxiety only a moment ago melted away and he leaned into the hug, wrapping his own arms loosely around Matt. Neither of them said anything. They didn't need to. That simple hug conveyed both their feelings simultaneously and neither wanted to let the other go.

For a fleeting moment, Matt was overcome with the urge to say a certain three-word phrase, but decided against it when Mello's grip on him tightened slightly and a soft sigh escaped his lips.

That night, they slept in the same bed and Arrow had to find a new way to tease Mello.

* * *

Short chapter after a long break. I'm so sorry.

Also, I would really appreciate more comments. Even if it's criticism. Actually, I like constructive criticism because it helps me get better. So yeah. More comments. Please?


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